Saturday, August 29th, 1998 2554 Belle Cote Ave. St. Louis, MO 63114 (314) 890-9294 God, Creator of the Universe Heaven and Earth, Inside and Outside Dear God, Was about to write an address for you. Oh, I think I will. There. Now you have a proper address and name. Though I can't think of the prefix to your name. Are you "Mr. God" or "Miss God" or "Mrs. God", or perhaps, "Messrs. God?" since you're supposed to be three people? Perhaps you are "Dr. God" or "The Right Reverend God?" Or maybe even, "Hey you! Yahweh!" Or maybe you like being called "Jeezie baby?" Well, maybe at Christmastime. It's been awhile, whoever you wanna be called, since I've written to ya. And you know that. I guess. Since I've last written to you, I've gotten a new address here on this earth you set up for us. It's now on the east end of one of those humanly-created jurisdictions called Missouri. You know, those jurisdictions that let men feel self-important, or give them some place to work from to do good works for their fellow man. Or to do bad works in the name of good works. I know, it confuses me, too. Kinda like all these churches and religions we have down here, each of them thinking they have the direct entitlement and claim to special knowledge of Who You Are and What You Want for us people here. It sure is a confusing mess, ain't it? From the Holy Rollers to the people who show a quiet witness to those who wear yamakas; then to those who some of us claim don't know you in the right way and are therefore going to some horrible place when they die. All of this in the name of spiritual growth. Much of it painful. Perhaps more of it more painful than it needs to be. Yet they say you are the keeper of the keys to Eternal Truth, these folks down here. And we fight over you. And we torture, rape, murder, snub, and love on account of what your prophets have said or not said. Or your false prophets. One wonders how much human pride goes into all of these conflicting postulates? Understandable human longing for eternity when it becomes ob- vious to the one who longs that life isn't forever. I write to you today, God, because I am finding myself confused over issues of a more personal nature, however. So perhaps we can put aside wonderments and worries about human manifestations of spiritual longings and practice and doctrines. Instead of dealing with all those human sillinesses, I'd like to take a bit and deal with just one human silliness: Love. In particular, this thing called Romantic Love. For it is ending up being a very large Wonderment in my world now. As I sit here and type, I am starting to feel a bit sleepy. Went and visited a friend and had breakfast with her -- my friend Lucrecia. And then we went over to Roger and Janet Wreath's home, as they are having a garage sale. Had a nice visit with them as we bought some things. Lucrecia bought a nice train set for a boy she baby-sits. And some cases. I bought a hat. Hand-woven. It was Leah Wreath's hat. Leah is Roger's daughter who is living with Mom and Dad for now. Last night, on the same computer this is being typed on (which, by the way, is a new computer to you, but starting to feel a little more like home to me, now that I have the "dear999.god" messages back online), I had a chat with my friend Cindy from Utah. It was pretty deep. We talked about a lot of things, from her eyes, which definitely have glaucoma, to her job and my new job as a Hotel Switchboard Operator at Henry VIII Hotel. (She's now working as a secretary in the Athletic Department at Utah State University). She came back into her workplace to have the talk with me. And we indeed did talk about a lot of things. She started talking about missing the flirting that we used to do some years ago. She got into talking about loneliness. Loneliness for a relationship, a kind of romantic loneliness. I ended up feeling like she was proposing marriage to me. She talked about how she is now in her 30's, and that this is supposed to be a person's prime. She talked about how she would be in- terested in having children one day. And she mentioned to me how she had considered me.... that she has for years had in her mind a thought about ... I guess, about my being the father of her children. She apologized for having such thoughts, saying something like, "I shouldn't have such thoughts as these. Kinda silly, huh?" She thought I would be mad. She at least made me promise not to get mad when she started this level of discussion. And I didn't get mad. Not in the least. My breath was taken away; I was awed; but I wasn't mad. I guess I feel that she is deliberately giving me a chance here.... She says she's trying to socialize more, get out more.... She has called me her best friend a number of times, something I have had trouble believing. And she says she loves me. And I love her. But the exact nature of the love I have for Cindy is something I am trying to discern. It's not everyday, I guess, that one has such a conversation with someone else. I told her how proud I am of her, that she was able and willing to articulate what she is interested in. Also, I pointed out to her that there are some rather large religious and doctrinal differences between where she is and I am. I asked her if she had thought about that. She pointed out to me that, a number of years ago when she had been a missionary, and I had expressed an interest in knowing more about her religion, that she had hoped I might really want to learn all about her religion. She had her church send some missionaries to my door, who I visited with for at least 5 or 6 or 7 visits over a period of about two months, I think. They gave me tracts, and they gave me the Book of Mormon; and I looked through some of it. And when we came to the Mormon concept of Apostacy, I had great problems. And finally had to invite the two fellows who were visiting with me to please stop visiting. I remember Cindy having been upset. This might have been sometime between 1987 and 1989. Just about ten years ago. I dropped the idea of becoming Mormon then, and hadn't really looked back. And I get the feeling that her particular faith is extremely important to Cindy. That if she were to ever get married, she would want it to be a Temple Wedding, which evidentally gives the marriage the property of lasting forever. (And a non-temple or non-Mormon wedding evidentally doesn't have that property.) (I just can't help thinking of the idea, "With God, all things are possible.") Non-Mormons cannot be married in one of their temples. Non-Mormons are not allowed in their temples, period, once they're consecrated. So now I have a big "?" in my life. What now? What next? So then this morning, as I am taking Lucrecia back to her home, she tells me that she likes my apartment so much that she wants to live here. Okay. Now what?? Well, Lord, I give it to you. I will have to go to work in a couple of hours. But I will email this note to you through your Heavenly Ether(net) and hope that the ACK's and NAK's don't cause St. Peter's Router to burp on the way to your Great Mainframe in the Sky. Thanks for your attention to my confusions. And thank you for your love and the love of your Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who I am still learning to call Lord. Your servant, David