Day 3: Discerning Through the Haze

During our prison seasons, when we feel the walls closing in on us, we are forced to process the events that landed us in a dark place. Louis Zamperini knew what prison life was like. His story, told by Laura Hillenbrand in the book and 2014 movie titled Unbroken, follows Louis’s life as a young Olympic runner who became a B-24 bombardier when World War II broke out. When his plane was shot down, he barely survived on a life raft for over forty days until being captured by the Japanese. As a prisoner of war in enemy territory for over two years, he went through many difficult days. One particular Japanese camp guard that the soldiers nicknamed “the Byrd” was especially cruel to Louis. I could barely stand to read about the inhumane atrocities he endured.

Louis’s strong spirit got him through. However, he discovered that readjusting to life outside prison walls was not as easy as he anticipated. He found himself lost in the haze of what he had experienced. His hatred for the Byrd became so intense that he could think of little else than plotting his revenge. He looked for ways to get back to Japan to hunt him down and kill him. His marriage and sanity teetered on the brink of survival as he was plagued by his memories and fantasies. His unforgiveness no longer belonged to him; he was held captive by his desire for vengeance.

While we don’t know much about Joseph’s incarceration years from the Genesis account, a few more details are afforded us in the psalms.

Read Psalm 105: 17-22 and label the picture with what was found on Joseph’s neck and feet:

Ultimately, Joseph became the warden’s favorite and was put in charge of other prisoners (Genesis 39: 21-22). However, at some point he truly suffered physically. The iron collar on his neck and shackles on his feet served as tangible reminders that his slavery had reached a new level with the accusation of Potiphar’s wife. His loss of freedom was as clear as the fact that he couldn’t turn his own neck or take one step without a heavy weight.

Though our shackles may not be made of iron, we still may walk in pain from the wrongs done to us. We need God’s help to process our pain so that we can see clearly. Our thoughts and emotions can run so wild that our perception of the facts becomes distorted. Mental and emotional caution is required so that bitterness and revenge don’t take root and skew our view of reality.

I have both experienced and observed that pain can distort how we interpret situations, attitudes, or words. Here are some tendencies I admit that I can relate to:

• When someone we once looked up to hurts us, we quickly switch tracks from idolizing to demonizing the person. Though we once saw everything about this individual as good, we now see everything he or she does as bad.

• We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions. We draw conclusions about someone’s motives with our own reasoning.

• “Balloons” grow in our heads from the smallest things. We read into an intonation, gesture, or comment, and soon we have written a whole new story, making big assumptions about the other party’s thoughts and feelings.

Draw a star by the tendency above that you can relate to most.

How have you seen these concepts played out in your thought life?

I believe Joseph battled to discern through the haze of his circumstances so that he could think clearly about his dreams, his brothers, Potiphar’s wife, and his plea to the cupbearer. I imagine his mind swirled with anger, fear, and thoughts of retribution such as those Louis Zamperini felt toward the Byrd.

Louis found bitterness becoming an intravenous drip of spiritual toxin that poisoned him daily. After attending a Billy Graham crusade at the urging of his wife, Louis heard the gospel and committed his life to Christ. Only through embracing Christ’s forgiveness personally could he ultimately forgive the Byrd. He was able to have a letter delivered to the Byrd more than forty years after leaving prison, expressing his forgiveness and his desire that this man surrender his life to Christ. Louis had lived the torture and still cared about this man’s eternity.

Forgiveness doesn’t always sit well with us when it is extended toward those who have committed evil acts. We must reorient our minds to the truth that Christ died for every sinner and every sin, even the worst of offenses.

14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hebrews 12: 14-15)

As long as Louis didn’t forgive, the Byrd remained in control over him. Yet when he released the right to revenge, he found himself free. Louis went on to minister to many people with his story of grace. We, too, must be careful not to allow bitterness to grow in our relationships so that it doesn’t take root and begin to consume us.

Read Hebrews 12: 14-15 in the margin. What does verse 15 say a root of bitterness will do— to you and to others?

How have you seen this truth about bitterness played out in your life?

Like an acid that eats away at its container, bitterness troubles you and corrupts many. The writer of Hebrews warns us against bitterness because he knows our fleshly tendency toward it. If we aren’t careful, unforgiveness won’t belong to us; we will belong to it. We need God’s eyes of grace in order to surrender the right to revenge and see things from His vantage point. Forgiveness frees us as much as it frees the person we are struggling to forgive. Yet as Lewis Smedes observes, “Each of us naturally puts her special spin on the inner process of forgiving the wrong. And each of us makes his own decision about how to relate to someone after we forgive her. We all play our own variations on the single forgiveness theme.” In order to see our situations clearly, we need a discerning mind. If we aren’t careful to pursue forgiveness and clarity, we can find bitterness and a distorted view of people and situations chasing us.

As Joseph sat in his time of waiting, he had a choice about which thoughts and feelings he would dwell on and nurture. Like us, his default would be to rehearse wrongs, let bitterness grow, and allow his wounds to fester. What we naturally want to do in a relational situation is often the wrong thing. Smedes notes, “We filter the image of our villain through the gauze of our wounded memories, and in the process we alter his reality.”

Joseph seemed to have learned to see people through God’s glasses. People are a hodgepodge of love, selfishness, kindness, fear, and the list could go on. No one is perfect. Most people aren’t truly evil. They are just people who make some good decisions and some pretty bad ones. The battle for truth in relationships is often fought in our own heads and hearts. We need God’s Holy Spirit desperately so that He can help us to see people clearly, soften our hearts, and revise our feelings to fall in line with His.

God longs to free us from the wasted hours of fanaticizing about our villain’s demise. Joseph probably did a little bit of that. He was human. But he would have had to get off the mental hamster wheel of negative thoughts toward his brothers and his boss in order to bring his thoughts and feelings into line with God’s grace. Eyes of grace come only as we surrender our thought life to God, moment by moment.

Perhaps for years some of us will regularly think of the person who wronged us. What will we do with these thoughts?

Consider the two offenses that you recorded on Day 1 (see page 43). What negative thoughts about the people who committed these offenses do you find creeping regularly into your mental routine?

What things have you tried to stop thinking about these individuals?

Tomorrow we will look more closely at how to work through fact and fiction in order to get to a place of freedom. Let’s end today with a powerful weapon that God gave us to fight the battle of the mind that is especially useful in long seasons of waiting. The Apostle Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 10: 5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (NIV). Like Joseph, Paul served prison sentences when he was waiting to be remembered. Paul penned these words in a Roman prison. He knew what it meant to be a captive.

Prisoners don’t get to do what they want to do or go where they want to go. Paul tells us to put our unforgiving thoughts into a prison cell. We are the wardens of our minds. God tells us that, with the power of the Holy Spirit, we can take thoughts captive and make them obey Christ.

Look at the following thoughts that Joseph might have had, and draw prison bars over them. (I can hear some of you who aren’t visual learners groaning. If you’re not up for drawing prison bars today, you can simply draw a line through each statement.)

Next, look up the Scriptures and write God’s truth that counteracts these very real thoughts we sometimes cling to, especially during seasons of waiting. I’ve done the first one for you so that you get the idea.

If I don't pay them back for what they did, they will never learn their lesson.

(Deuteronomy 32: 35)

God will take revenge.

God has forgotten about me and my dreams.

(Psalm 115: 12)

I’m going to be stuck here forever.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

What about them? Why does it seem like I’m the only one with consequences in this situation?

(John 21:20-22)

Most of our mental battles come down to trust. Will we take things into our own hands, or will we apply God’s truth to our very personal situations? How about you? Which of the verses above echoes most loudly into your personal situation right now? Write this verse on an index card or in a note in your phone or tablet, and begin memorizing it. The next time your head starts spinning with thoughts focused on your own pity party, take those thoughts captive. When all you can think about is getting even or obsessing over what another person has done to you, put those thoughts in a cell and lock the door. Then repeat this verse until your thoughts and feelings come around to the side of God’s truth. You’ll soon notice that you are on the outside of your prison door, holding the keys to productive mental activities such as praying and encouraging others.

Oh, the hours I have wasted pursuing negative emotions. Seeing a skewed view of people and replaying old tapes of wrongs done to us steals time we could be spending listening to the voice of God for the direction we need. I have to be most on guard against these destructive thought patterns when I’m alone in the car, waiting to pick up kids, or doing a mindless chore such as dishes or laundry. Knowing this, I try to redeem these times by listening to worship music (okay, and sometimes a little country music, too), praying, thinking of things to be thankful for, listening to sermons, or memorizing Bible verses.

Read Through Joseph's Family Story: Read Genesis 20

Taking our thoughts captive is war, ladies! Whether we are in the thick of the battle now or enjoying an armistice in our relationships, our ability to identify and redirect our thinking will have great impact on our spiritual health. It certainly did for Joseph, setting him apart from his siblings as a leader and a man of faith.

Talk with God

Take some time now to ask the Lord to help you identify the times that you are most tempted to think negatively of others or make assumptions.

Write what you hear from God in the margin. Ask God to help you follow through in taking your thoughts captive in the midst of the daily grind as you go forward this week. Now thank God for giving you the power to take your thoughts captive and use your mind to pursue godliness and freedom. Remember 1 Corinthians 2: 16: “We have the mind of Christ” (NIV).

Spoelstra, Melissa (2015-08-04). Joseph - Women's Bible Study Participant Book: The Journey to Forgiveness (Kindle Locations 909-1018). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition.