"One of the prevalent themes in Genesis 43 and 44, our chapters this
week, is the contrast between life and death. When it comes to relation-
ships, we need to be sure we are making choices that will lead to life.
I once heard a preacher say that often what we feel like doing in a rela-
tionship is the opposite of what we actually should do.
   "I think that when Joseph saw Benjamin, he must have wanted to hug him
tight and say, 'I'm not dead; let's lose these other guys and celebrate.'
It must have taken restraint not to do that, knowing he needed to finish
testing the waters before he could trust. Instead, Joseph ran out of the
room, let his emotions run their course, and then pulled himself together.
He must have been looking at the bigger picture of long-term trust rather
than short-term gratification. In a sense, he was faced with a choice that
could lead to life or death in his relationship with his brothers, and he
chose life.
   "We experience life or death choices in relationships every day, and how
we want to respond in our flesh does not lead to life and vitality. Often it
leads to death--of trust, intimacy, or even any contact at all. But just as
there is a path that leads to death, so there is a path that leads to life.
If we feel like getting even, then we can show love. If we feel like withhold-
ing affection, then we can write an encouraging note. If we feel like saying
a harsh word, then we can give a gentle answer or take a time out."

Spoelstra, Melissa (2015-08-04). Joseph - Women's Bible Study Participant
Book: The Journey to Forgiveness (Kindle Locations 2091-2102). Abingdon Press.
Kindle Edition.